Differences between Ma'ams and Sirs

Only the best of those I've heard...

- A Ma'am can wear a dress out on the town
- A Ma'am must wear tops and bottoms to the beach
- A Sir does not smell like perfume
- A Sir would not be invited to a baccalaureate party...unless he was the striper
- A Sir does not get in for free on ladies night
- A Sir statistically does not openly admit to liking "The Notebook"
- A Ma'am usually has multiple purses
- A Sir does not ask for directions for lost
- A Sir will not appear as a model for Victoria Secrets
- According to the NY times, Ma'ams make for better pilots than Sirs
- Statistics show that Ma'ams are less likely to get in larger car wrecks
- Ma'ams have a sweeter toned voice
- Females have a higher average BMI
- Females have a longer life expectancy
- Females have naturally stronger abs
- Females become intoxicated quicker
* Females have unique plumbing
- Females walk with grace
- Females smell like vanilla coco bean
* Females don't sweat, they glisten
* Females have the title "Ma'am" and will not be mistaken for a "Sir", "Sma'am" nor any other debauchery
- A Ma'am is pretty, a Sir is handsome
- A Ma'am cannot pee correctly standing up
- A Ma'am is more sensible than a Sir
- A Ma'am does not fart in public like a Sir

And the #1 difference....(that I've gotten today)....

A Sir would not go by the name of Samantha F. Berthiaume